i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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