I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
