im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
