i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
