Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
