it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize