I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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