You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
