it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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