I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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