just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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