He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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