i will never coherently bang her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
