I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
