She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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