I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
