Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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