a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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