Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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