Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
is that a dick in a sweater?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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