We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
two words: eviction party
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
