hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
