woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
