I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
