quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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