You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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