coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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