Buhtt sex?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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