just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize