I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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