You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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