I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize