I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
