he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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