are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
