do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
