Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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