Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
