well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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