addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
