.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
