I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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