Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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