The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
