also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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