I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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