i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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