You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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