Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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