There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we have officially lost it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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