You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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