for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
