Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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