we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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