he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
