so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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