Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
